Another 20 Miler ...

Okay the good news is that I got another 20-miler in today. The bad news is that it was SLOW!

I run with Stephanie's group again today. They were going out for 16 miles with the last half at marathon pace. My training plan was for a 20 miler and I knew I wouldn't be able to pull it off if I stuck to the pick-up pace so after an 8 mile "warm up" and 2 mile pickup, I pulled it back a bit ... then just faded from there. I got back to Memorial Park and did 2 1/2 loops to get my 20. It was nice that Houston Area Road Runners Association (HARRA) was set up with some goodies which gave me something to look forward to each time around!

In the infamous words of Bill Murray's character, John Winger, in the classic movie Stripes, "Then depression set in!" I'm really disappointed with my times over the past couple of weeks. I'm not hitting my training schedule times like I was able to up to that point. On one hand I am happy that I finished 20 miles today while running the last 12 alone. For the last several miles I just kept asking myself, "Is there any physical reason I can't finish this?"

"No.

"Is there any mental reason I can't finish 20 today?"

"No."

"Is there any reason I can't go faster?"

"Yes but I can't describe it."

It's very frustrating! And, of course, I have no idea what's really going on. My 20-miler this week was quite a bit slower than my 20-miler 3 weeks ago (which I already thought was too slow). Of course, I can come up with dozens of excuses but I'm really trying not to allow myself those cop outs.

Based on my 20-milers, I have no idea what to expect come marathon day. I know the taper should help me along with the cooler air but that isn't calming my anxiety ... somewhat a fear of the unknown, I guess.

On the bright side, for the first time today I had a glimpse of myself actually finishing. Up to this point, it seemed too far of a distance to imagine and too far away on the calendar. I guess this is a very small step in my progression ....